Navigating Heavy Holiday Feelings
It is officially the holiday season in our home. We had one of the best Thanksgivings in a long time. As a family, we worked hard to ensure it was a celebration we could be proud of. We had the parade and dog show on TV as we prepared for the holiday feast! Our menu included a delicious turkey and ham with traditional and seasonal sides. The table decor screamed Autumn and Thanksgiving as warmth and love radiated through our home. However, I still had to work through some harsh thoughts and feelings.
As a highly sensitive and empathic person, I think of the less fortunate when I enjoy the moment. Starting Wednesday night, I thought of people who feel scared, lonely, cold, and unloved. I thought of people who are navigating traumatic experiences while the rest of society is experiencing joy and merriment. All this thinking led me to reflect on challenging moments in my past.
I grew up with a courier father who worked late during the holiday season. Growing up, we referred to this time as the “Christmas rush.” I have vivid childhood memories of just my mother, and I home alone on those cold December nights. All of this work made it difficult for us to have a picture-perfect, vibrant holiday season. Although that overtime money helped during the holiday season, it’s still hard on a family. This season, please be kind to couriers; they are beyond overworked and miss their families.
It was also hard having family who lived out of town. We hardly had the whole family together for holiday celebrations for various reasons, so our gatherings tended to be relatively small. It is prevalent in these modern times for families to live all over, resulting in small get-togethers. However, it’s still hard not to experience the big celebration with many people around.
Our minds love to take any situation that takes us out of the moment and brings us to a state of sadness and fear. During the holiday season, our senses are bombarded by all feelings. We see advertisements and movies with picture-perfect lives and feelings we think should always be our reality. We also see the sad commercials for charities that make us think of people out there who are suffering during this time. This combination causes us to have varying emotions that can be difficult to navigate.
Although we like to think this season is always about feeling “merry and bright,” it can also bring a lot of heaviness. We have certain expectations of what it “should” look like, which further exacerbates this heaviness. However, like any time of the year, all feelings are valid during the holiday season.
It is OK to feel sad, angry, anxious and overwhelmed. It’s OK to skip that holiday party and spend some alone time. It is OK to mourn your loved ones. It’s OK to decorate when you want. Celebrating with just a few people is ok if that’s what you need to do. It is OK to not be OK during the holiday season. It’s actually a great time to seek help if that’s what you need to do. As a society, we must try to take some of the pressure off and embrace whatever experience comes our way. Take care of yourself these next few weeks, and try to enjoy the season in the best way that works for you.
